This was from the original blog
Let's Start At The Very Beginning....
Aha so what is this?.....yet another blog written by a single mama!!!Am I trying to find a man that can look past the kids that I have? Am I trying to find online superstardom through my words or am I trying to let feelings out that have been repressed thus far...well i guess its a little of all and much of none. Really this is so I can remember how I felt at particular moments in my life. Dont you hate looking back 5 years and kinda sorta remembering momentus moments in your life? Was I wearing the black ruffly maddonesque skirt or the pink shirt at that first concert that I went to in the 80's. This isnt going to be as frivalous as that and I cant even pretend that Im going to be blogging every day but what I can promise is this is going to be a view into my soul . A window into me and my life..and I hope you all enjoy it!As I write this my sons friends are here for a sleep over. They came last night at 7 and still havent left(Its 12. 18 pm! I wonder if their mothers care..I live in a low income community in a small town in Illinois. In lay terms it is known as "da hood". da hood is not the place that middle class white folks raise their kids..it is the place where black folks en masses can learn how to sit on the front porch in groups of 6 at 12pm in the afternoon and give you mean looks when you walk by. I kid you not. My neighborhoodid the kind that you DONT move to when you are seeking a nice area to live in. The only good thing about living on my street is the rent. I pay $495 a month for a three bedroom house. That should tell you everything about where I live. As I sit typing frantically on this pc..i have a newborn baby to my left. Hes sleeping in his swing..my newest addition. His father is sleeping in the bed blissfully..ok ok thats a lie! There Is no father *shock! horror! * well..ok ok there IS a father of sorts..we can call him the sperm donar for now. I need to take you back some months...preferably 9 months ago in a city called NEW YORK. Yea I went up there for vacation. It was supposed to be my adios to the life that I wasnt leading. Ysee i decided that it was time to settle down and act my age..im 31 but please dont tell my kids..ive been 25 for the past few years...well anyways I was in NYC and happened across a guy that Id always had the hots for. Someone that I cared about but was quit contented to live in the glow of unrequited love...unfortunately unrequited love can still get you knocked up as I soon learned. So we hung out and went back to his place...well his basement bedroom in his mothers house*sighs* yes I know red flag red flag right? lol well anyways we ended up making love(my words) or fukin(his) and shortly after...lets say 2 weeks later i found out that I was pregnant.*Runs Screaming!*yes Me Aishah/ Donna..whatever you want to call me for the day..Miss careful and diligent had discovered that I had become a statsitic. A single mother irresponsible enough to have sex unprotected with a casual someone and got knocked up first time! i was devastated. I did not want to be pregnant but I knew that I was going to keep him. Sperm Donar did what was atypical...he questioned whether the baby was his..Im not going to lie..I had hung out with other people in said same vacation and there may have been illegal substances and crazy laughter galore but there was no one that i was having or had unprotected sex with(note the distinction) . When I told atypical male...he decided to inform me that he couldnt have kids. Isnt that just a doozy.Not only am I pregnant for a man that I was a casual someone with but I was pregnant for the kind of loser that did the I cant have kids blah too. I felt crushed. Nothing left to do but wait for a DNA to find out whether he was the daddy..so in that 9 months...I was told I was a stalker, I was obsessed, I wasnt pregnant among a host of other things. I think I called him perhaps 10 times in the 9 months. He didnt call me once. He was happily living the single life and I didnt blame him. By all accounts he had his shorty, 40 and his blunt..what more did he need?...well evidently he needed a house a job and new freinds because i found out he had been kicked out of his home, lost his job and his friends had ripped him off for his money so now I guess he was too broke for that 40 and the blunt but we all know that girls will take care of a man so I suppose he still held onto his girl(aww aint love grand!) So I sweat and hustle making rent and bills while homeboy acts like the 27 year old that he is. greeeeeet..so I had the baby 9 days ago...Its time for the DNA test and thats where I start this.Phew! That was a lotta background right? lol..well anyways here I am waiting to hear froim him..no correction....hoping to hear from him so that he can be a father to his child. To be frank ..I hate him right now. I cant believe I was so wrong bout him. Dont I sound like some old Dolly Parton song from the 70's? Well thats the begiining and in the coming days and months I will add, describe, laugh. cry and even slowly go crazy with YOU My newest best blog friend!Toodles!
Aha so what is this?.....yet another blog written by a single mama!!!Am I trying to find a man that can look past the kids that I have? Am I trying to find online superstardom through my words or am I trying to let feelings out that have been repressed thus far...well i guess its a little of all and much of none. Really this is so I can remember how I felt at particular moments in my life. Dont you hate looking back 5 years and kinda sorta remembering momentus moments in your life? Was I wearing the black ruffly maddonesque skirt or the pink shirt at that first concert that I went to in the 80's. This isnt going to be as frivalous as that and I cant even pretend that Im going to be blogging every day but what I can promise is this is going to be a view into my soul . A window into me and my life..and I hope you all enjoy it!As I write this my sons friends are here for a sleep over. They came last night at 7 and still havent left(Its 12. 18 pm! I wonder if their mothers care..I live in a low income community in a small town in Illinois. In lay terms it is known as "da hood". da hood is not the place that middle class white folks raise their kids..it is the place where black folks en masses can learn how to sit on the front porch in groups of 6 at 12pm in the afternoon and give you mean looks when you walk by. I kid you not. My neighborhoodid the kind that you DONT move to when you are seeking a nice area to live in. The only good thing about living on my street is the rent. I pay $495 a month for a three bedroom house. That should tell you everything about where I live. As I sit typing frantically on this pc..i have a newborn baby to my left. Hes sleeping in his swing..my newest addition. His father is sleeping in the bed blissfully..ok ok thats a lie! There Is no father *shock! horror! * well..ok ok there IS a father of sorts..we can call him the sperm donar for now. I need to take you back some months...preferably 9 months ago in a city called NEW YORK. Yea I went up there for vacation. It was supposed to be my adios to the life that I wasnt leading. Ysee i decided that it was time to settle down and act my age..im 31 but please dont tell my kids..ive been 25 for the past few years...well anyways I was in NYC and happened across a guy that Id always had the hots for. Someone that I cared about but was quit contented to live in the glow of unrequited love...unfortunately unrequited love can still get you knocked up as I soon learned. So we hung out and went back to his place...well his basement bedroom in his mothers house*sighs* yes I know red flag red flag right? lol well anyways we ended up making love(my words) or fukin(his) and shortly after...lets say 2 weeks later i found out that I was pregnant.*Runs Screaming!*yes Me Aishah/ Donna..whatever you want to call me for the day..Miss careful and diligent had discovered that I had become a statsitic. A single mother irresponsible enough to have sex unprotected with a casual someone and got knocked up first time! i was devastated. I did not want to be pregnant but I knew that I was going to keep him. Sperm Donar did what was atypical...he questioned whether the baby was his..Im not going to lie..I had hung out with other people in said same vacation and there may have been illegal substances and crazy laughter galore but there was no one that i was having or had unprotected sex with(note the distinction) . When I told atypical male...he decided to inform me that he couldnt have kids. Isnt that just a doozy.Not only am I pregnant for a man that I was a casual someone with but I was pregnant for the kind of loser that did the I cant have kids blah too. I felt crushed. Nothing left to do but wait for a DNA to find out whether he was the daddy..so in that 9 months...I was told I was a stalker, I was obsessed, I wasnt pregnant among a host of other things. I think I called him perhaps 10 times in the 9 months. He didnt call me once. He was happily living the single life and I didnt blame him. By all accounts he had his shorty, 40 and his blunt..what more did he need?...well evidently he needed a house a job and new freinds because i found out he had been kicked out of his home, lost his job and his friends had ripped him off for his money so now I guess he was too broke for that 40 and the blunt but we all know that girls will take care of a man so I suppose he still held onto his girl(aww aint love grand!) So I sweat and hustle making rent and bills while homeboy acts like the 27 year old that he is. greeeeeet..so I had the baby 9 days ago...Its time for the DNA test and thats where I start this.Phew! That was a lotta background right? lol..well anyways here I am waiting to hear froim him..no correction....hoping to hear from him so that he can be a father to his child. To be frank ..I hate him right now. I cant believe I was so wrong bout him. Dont I sound like some old Dolly Parton song from the 70's? Well thats the begiining and in the coming days and months I will add, describe, laugh. cry and even slowly go crazy with YOU My newest best blog friend!Toodles!
posted by Dee @ 11:58 PM
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